Falling is a Gift

When I first saw you,
it was like seeing a demigod,
or the most beautiful of angels.
Your image wavered in the brilliance
of a light, my now mortal eyes
could never hope to meet.

So from afar I watched you.
I saw the miracles that
befell those you touched,
whether it was on purpose,
or simply the accident of brushing
against your pearl wings.

Your blue eyes shone with
a golden glow, proving that there
really might be a heaven out there somewhere,
And yet, beneath your god-like smile,
I could see what it really cost you.

I saw it when once again
you were being praised,
lauded by the choirs of Eternity itself.
for just a moment, just a fragment of
a second within all the expanses of your
essence, your composure was gone.

And suddenly I saw the real you.
I saw the weariness, the shadows that
drifted just beneath the surface of
pure white wings, and the soft red of eyes
that seemed forever bound in constraining blue.

For so long you had been an angel
and a savior, a flicker of hope within
the dying minutes of our mortal lives.
And you were done; tired of the
continuous and heart-wrenching cries for help.

Yet you continued, reaching out to
those who never believed they
would see even the glimmer of
your white wings, let alone
the hand you saw fit to offer.

So for now I will keep your secret.
I will silently hold the understanding
that not every wish is answered, and
I will respect the decision not
to act upon your own.

I can still see your glimmering form
in both my dreams and waking hours,
and I can see the golden smile
that you continue to hold so close
knowing that perhaps it may still help.

But I can see the shadows too,
the silvery out line that shines
over solitary black feathers
that have been painstakingly
painted over with white,

The sparkling flashes of
red anger that are still bound
so tightly within the embrace of blue eyes,
and those single moments where your
smile, turns to bitter tears.

I can see the pain it causes you
but I will wait, and on that day
when the white paint becomes
too heavy to lift your wings and when
another step seems more than impossible,

I will be there to greet you,
and perhaps you will come to understand
that the blessing of our silver wings
proves that a white Eternity, was not
meant to last forever.