Hey, haven't seen you all in a while.

Anyway, im not a big fan of life right now. We're not really getting along.
Firstly, Im in pain, bad pain, and its pissing me off.

About two weeks ago my sister and I were dog sitting for a friend of my mom's. She has two gorgeous Burmese Mountain Dogs, one of which is only 5 months old and is already the size of a golden retriever, except bigger. Yeah. Big. Anyway we were taking them out for a walk and it had started raining. Now I absolutely love the rain so i was fine with it. Well it turns out the rain had other plans for me. I was wearing my moccasins which ive had for over 10 years. Theyre the most comfortable shoes i own. Only problem now is that ive worn off any grip that they might have had.
I slipped and fell on the staires.
Hard.

In fact I fell so hard that the ring on my right hand, which i had put out to brace my fall, had cut down into my finger and its not even a sharp ring.
I mostly fell on my back hip. It hurt like a mother, but i got over it pretty quick. I have a really really high tolerance for pain, so i ignored it. Within the hour though I had one spectacular bruise. As big as my hand if not bigger, across my lower hip. It still hurt but i ignored it, knowing it would eventually go away. The spot was ridiculously swollen, as in huge, but i knew that was fine because it meant it was healing.

My mom wanted me to go to the hospital, but I refused. I dont like hospitals, the smell makes me sick and i was fine just dealing with the pain.
Well about five or so days ago, the bruise had completely disappeared, only my hip was still swollen. And the pain changed. It no longer hurt like a bruised fall hurt, instead i felt like i was being cut over and over every time i moved. At all.
So finally like 3 days ago it just became unbearable. I mean, it hurts so bad I cant even sit in a chair properly. If I lift my hands above my shoulder i feel like ive been shot, and sleeping is almost impossible. So i relented and made an appointment with my doctor.
He took a look at it and he told me that I have a freaking Hematoma on my lower back hip.

For those of you who arent into medical terms heres what it is. A hematoma is a collection of blood outside the veins in your body (internal bleeding) as a result of severe trauma and damage. The blood becomes thick and gelatinous and extremely painful.
Well no shit.

He told us that I can either let it heal on its own which can take months, or he could refer us to a surgeon. I saw the surgeon on Wednesday. He told me that there was little he could do except drain as much as possible and that that might not fix the whole pain problem because a lot of the pain is probably caused by severe nerve damage. So on Friday (today) im scheduled to have some procedure done.

I swear im going to kill someone if this thing doesnt get better.
My doctor gave me pain medication which works a bit- it kinda dulls the pain but makes the skin on my hip uber sensitive, and makes me feel like House popping Vicadin. And on top of that I spent all day being dizzy which turns out to be a side effect of the medicine. Dizzy, as I have found, is not that fun.

So thats why ive been gone.
Its almost 2:30 in the morning here, and i cant sleep.
Im sitting as still as possible so that my hip doesnt stab me suddenly, thought as soon as I shift to move my laptop ill be gasping.

Oh i guess there was one good thing that came out of this.
I got to fight with a nurse and i won.
^^
Thats right.

When I was at the doctors he wanted to take an xray just to make sure I hadnt broken anything. I was like alright fine.
Following is the conversation I had as we attempted to take an Xray.

Nurse: Alright ma'am, if you would just lie down on the table so I can take the picture.
Me: Um, I cant lie down.
Nurse: *looking oblivious as if I had spoken in another language* Well thats how i have to do the x ray.
Me: well then i guess you cant take the x ray. I cant lay down. I cant even lie on my side in my own comfortable bed, let alone on my back on your metal hospital table.
Nurse: Well cant you try? *shes all pissed now(its funny and im enjoying it)*
Me: No. Its excruciating just sitting here. Can you take it standing up?
Nurse: *sighs as if she dissappointed in me (i am trying very hard not to laugh)* Yes but we wont get a good picture.
Me: Well thats all your going to get.
*we shift around and she takes the x ray from the standing one.*
Nurse: *tisks* In the future ma'am youll need to go to the other hospital for a stading picture. They have the proper equiptment.
Me: *still trying not to laugh* alright.

End.

It was fabulous.
Pissing her off was so much fun.
Ever notice how they enjoy making you powerless? Like your supposed to put your life in their hands just so they can cause you pain?
Yeah I dont go for that.
And thats the other thing.
An x ray should not hurt. Thats bullshit. Find another way.

Alrighty, the Vicadin is getting to my brain and im finally sleepy.
I'll see yous all later.
Wish me luck and less pain.

Luv you.

Bye Bye Beautiful
Nightwish
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